It takes a (Disney) village
When other moms ask me what was the biggest mistake I made in my early mom working life, it’s hard not to vomit out a long list. I was miserable trying to balance it all. It took me years to realize that just because I was a single parent in a career that left me underwater in one of America’s more expensive cities, that didn’t mean I had to die a martyr to the pitfalls of late-stage capitalism and neoliberal policies!
When people said “how does she do it?,” they weren’t talking about me. They were talking about the moms in the C-suite, wearing ever-changing arrays of fast fashion looking fresh as bunnies at 5 A.M. spin, with glowing hydrated skin, tight from botox. When they looked at me they simply said, “you look tired.”
I have learned from my missteps. I took note of my mistakes. I am so grateful for the light now being shed, such as Fortune magazine’s recent sharing of the secrets we moms in leadership use to support our advancement into positions of power. I learned that all it really takes is a butt-ton of money, no help from men and a lifelong dependency on a low-income labor class. Knowing this was all I ever needed to begin my journey to ascension.
I hope my transparency can illuminate for you a pathway to advancement so you too can have it all!
As a strategic leader with a 10-year old, the support I regularly employ:
Cinderella’s mice and bird friends. They clean my apartment top to bottom every week until it sparkles and shines. They also make me the hottest new fashion designs crafted from the finest of silks obtained from the cocoons of the larvae of Bombyx mori that I hold in captivity in my bathroom closet. Added plus - I can pay them in literal seeds and cheese!
The Beast. He roves around my apartment complex daily from 5-6pm scaring away every food delivery person, retrieving dropped packages from screaming drivers. It’s been vital to my professional success that my son and I have the very best in nutritious hot dinner options every night of the week!
The Genie! Every #momboss needs a top executive assistant, and what is better than a muscled hunk who responds to your every request, no matter how ridiculous, with “your wish is my command!” Bonus perk - It’s a joy to send the Genie out for tampons. Plus if he ever threatens to unionize, just rub that lamp!
Ursula. I know it seems out of the range for a leader to employ such a creature, but Ursula gives the best voice lessons to both my son and I, reigning annual Christmas karaoke champs 5 years running now! She also gives my son weekly oceanography lessons. Martha down the street can choke on her kids at-home-science-kits with that! It takes hard work and dedication to raise a child genius while working full time and Ursula helps get us there.
Snow White! This was an easy get. She was being used as literal slave labor for those creepy Dwarves. She has a much better deal at my place making the beds every day, washing our armpits and carrying my son to school and back. She has an entire closet to sleep in where she gets a solid 3 hours of sleep standing up in it every night before she’s at it again at 4 am making my son his fresh goat milk yogurt and foraging for wild berries to mix in for him! My career wouldn’t be where it is today without my son getting a homemade and nutritious breakfast before the school bell rings.
I acknowledge how hard this can be for me to share. My deep financial privilege affords me this lifestyle but it pays back in the support it gives me to be the best, most justice-centered and inclusive leader/aspirational influencer.
I hope my sharing offers you greater insight and creative ways that you too, can live your greatest life on the backs of others.
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